As I write this I feel free from something I can’t really name, but whatever it was, it’s been with me as long as I can remember. I have been having strange aches in “the normal” places today, and my mouth bled a tiny bit after biting the inner cheek, so maybe I’m pondering my own mortality more than normal. And the episode of Lost I just finished showed me the power of the Bible more skillfully than any preacher ever has, so perhaps that experience lifted a veil of some sort. Even though I’m not “meditating” as I write this, I’m able to breathe and be aware of my own breath more frequently this evening, especially after showering.
With Lain as my witness, I wish to be laid to rest here in the jungle. Ideally just my body under perhaps some cloth and dirt, with cremation a second choice, and a casket burial without chemicals a third choice. My body is already full of chemicals; I’d rather not add insult to injury by giving me an American chemical-bath burial.
In fact, if my body is tested and shown to have concentrations of certain chemicals that could harm the trees or other life near my burial site, then I suppose I should be dumped in the US with all the rubbish it’s put into my body over the years. Perhaps near my grandmother on my mother’s side, so we can get to know each other after death in a way we couldn’t during life (though I suppose, in a way, I could do that anywhere at that point).
If my body won’t pollute the surroundings with too much plastic or other chemicals, I would love to be placed somewhere near a sacred tree, even if it’s not one people go to regularly for sacred purposes. I invite people to speak at this location together, about life, death, me, them, whatever is coming up at this moment. We don’t get to say what we ought to to each other most of the time, for some reason. Maybe talk about that reason too.
At my wake/funeral/beginning of a long pause on (or difference in) our relationship, I would love to see people dancing and playing music and eating good food and doing whatever drugs feel right for them, and other people respecting others’ needs and emotions during this, and also removing themselves if they feel anger or violence coming up so they can find a way to handle those feelings. In fact, actually, this paragraph would be good advice just about every day.
On to the business of who will receive my vast tracts of land… just kidding, you’re on an anarchist blog site. What I do have is a bit of money in various banks and digital wallets. All of that should be split evenly between my mother and partner, who can then share it with my brother and father as the former two see fit. All my personal items can go to mutual aid or charities after my mother and partner have searched through it.
I’m grateful for anyone reading this, for my enjoyment of the experience here in this cycle was in some way due to your presence.